If your the best bartender around explain this: What kind of idiot smokes around alcohol, don't you understand one little spark and all that booze would explode from the inside out kinda like your mom after she met me
-BetterthanFrank, from Canadia

    The kind of idiot that understands the difference between flammable and explosive, I guess.  Seriously.   Do you hear about a lot of bars exploding from all the smokers inside?  You goddamn Canadians, you're just getting smarter every year, eh?

-F

hey frank, how can johnny serve drinks if he is always holding those ugly, not very well shaded, brown, chocolate looking sticks all the time?
-Nick, from NY,NY

    How can you type if you're always playing with your hoo-hoo, smart ass?  That's right, you put the little fella down when you've got something important to do.

-F
  (P.S.  Spend 40 hours drawing game art on a 4"x6" graphics tablet, and you'll forget where your light sources are, too, dammit.)

Why u look like bush becase when i started i tougbt why is bush learning me to bartend 0_o
-uhhm, from Texas

    I was poorly drawn, and you were raised in Texas.  We're both screwed.
-F

Why does my grandpa drink and make my grandma mad?
-Renee, from California

    I gotta say, you kids have really been giving me some softball questions lately.  Renee, there are a lot of reasons for old men to drink, and unless you give me a few more details, I can't give you a definite answer.  But if I had to guess, I'd say that your grandpa drinks and makes your grandma mad because you ask too many damn questions.  Just a thought.  That's right, you keep tossing em up, I'll keep knocking em out of the park.
-F

Rey seems like quite a strange guy... Y'know with his lack of pupils and the whole carrying a shotgun over his shoulder thing. What made you think he had the potential to become one of the bartending greats of our time?
-Marcy-Boy, from Glasgow, Scotland

    You really had to get me started on Rey Conquista.  We hired Rey to be the doorman.  That's right, the doorman.  Having a half-naked, shotgun-toting, pupil-less bandolero behind the bar is just not a good idea.  Sure enough, we hadn't even finished forging his work visa before he was back there mixing up drinks for customers.
  And they don't pay me enough to argue with a man carrying a shotgun.
-F

Hey Frank, do you have family pictures of your wife or kids or pet? I would love to see some. And i hope you have a daughter.
-JackRipperz, from Malaysia

    Well Jack, I'm not sorry to say that I've never been married.  I'm just too much man for one woman to handle, and that's a proven fact.  I spent a lot of time overseas as a young man, and it's safe to say that I probably have quite a few children all over the world- possibly even daughters.
  Now as far as photos go, I'm not really the sentimental type.  I used to carry a photo of my first dog, Slutbuster, but I left my pants at your mother's house one night, and haven't seen it since.
  See what I did there?
-F

Frank, if you could go back in time, before you were born, and challenge your father for a drinking competition until death, would you win? And if you were to win, would you stop existing?
-Felipe, from Brazil

    There were a lot of great questions, today, and this one really got the old wheels turning for me.  Now before I answer, let me give you a little history here.  My old man was a rifleman in the US Civil War.  And he didn't fight for the North.  He didn't fight for the South, either.  He fought against BOTH sides, because those jokers had the audacity to get into a little battle on his ranch.  The man had over 9000 confirmed kills, and that was just during that particular war.
  So Frank "the Tank" Senior was obviously one hairy bastard.  I remember when I was a boy, he'd sit me down on his lap and pour me a shot of whiskey.  Then he'd pop the lid off of a bottle of bleach and guzzle that down without even taking a breath.  Those were the days.
  My old man could drink me under the table, no doubt about it.  If I did win, it would be because he would die laughing at the very idea that I could beat him in a sit-down, bottoms-up, Indiana-Jones-and-the-Raiders-of-the-Lost-Ark-style drinking contest.
 And if that were the case, then I probably would stop existing.

  Hope that clears things up for you.
-F

Hey Frank, do you think Luc is gay?
-Zack, from Bordeaux, France

    Luc?  Gay?  Well....maybe.  Or maybe he's just French.  Hard to tell, really- you continentals are all a bit sweet, if you ask me.  Why- do you want to ask him out?
-F

Why are you always smoking a cigar?
-Simon, from Québec

    It's simple vacuum physics, Simon.  If I were to ever stop smoking cigars, my lungs would immediately implode.  That's exactly what happened to my arch-nemesis, Dwight "Baby Lungs" Eisenhower.  Look it up in Wikipedia- it's in there.  And if it's not... put it in there.
-F

my game frezes after your training
-Tom, from Durham, England

    Well congratulations, Tom.  That's great news.  It's common knowledge that my training is the best part of the game.
-F